This horrible little film plods along for two hours of truly awful screenwriting supported by some of the worst acting performances in recent memory. Nightcrawler is so poorly paced, poorly filmed, and poorly acted that it becomes unwatchable at the 30 minute mark. Is there anything nice about it? No, it rivals the equally contrived and equally horrendous Almost Famous as one of the worst films ever made. All copies of this awful little picture should be gathered and burned and all involved with its production should be publicly flogged and forced to write letters of apology to everyone that has had to live in a world that they have now made worse by releasing this garbage to the public (except Cameron Crowe, he does not get an apology).

EDITOR’S NOTE: Nick wanted to let everyone know that he would give it zero stars, but unfortunately our system can handle such a designation yet. And yes, I was as surprised as you to find out that this was actually five sentences long.